Experts report a marked decrease in breast cancer, all thanks to a recent Facebook movement. The movement, started and promoted through viral messaging, encourages women to post the color of their bras as their “status” message in order to raise awareness. The results, say researchers, speak for themselves.
“We were in a meeting at the time,” says Dr. Tamahachi. “One of our assistants came running into the room shouting something about a miracle. So we all came running. Sure enough, our instruments had detected an unprecedented spike in awareness. We haven’t seen results like this since that one Susan Serandon special.”
Other researchers say that thanks to social networking sites, awareness has been raised to “breathtaking new heights.” When asked whether the same phenomenon could be carried over to MySpace, doctors were admittedly skeptical. “MySpace? That is so 2004.”
But that’s not all. The millions of Facebook status updates has actually seemed to curb the number of reported cases of breast cancer. Dr. Marjorie Wallace explains: “You see, there is a part of your brain right around here [she points to the side of her head just above her ear], in your temporal lobe, that seems to have an increased aptitude for absorbing large numbers of insipid, self-abosrbed information. Facebook and Twitter meet that need in spades. Now, research is still fuzzy, but somehow activation of this region – what is medically known as the ‘Vacuous Cortex’ seems to inhibit the development of breast cancer in its earliest stages.” She smiles, saying, “It’s a breakthrough.”
And the results have been dramatic. Just ask one survivor. Christina McCoy had been diagnosed with breast cancer only three months ago, and the aggressiveness of the cancer has made it difficult for doctors to treat her. But when she opened her Facebook page on Friday, she says she was “floored. I’ve never seen so much awareness. My friends were all reporting the colors of their bras. Suddenly I felt lost in an ocean of lycra and healing.”
Facebook users are all too eager to help. “I’m all too eager to help,” says Jenna Ferguson of Tucson Arizona. I have close to 1,000 friends on Facebook – some of whom I’ve never met. When I got the message to post my bra color online, for even complete strangers to read, I was skeptical, but decided, ‘sure, why not?’” Ferguson reports that she was originally going to use her status to inform everyone that her cat’s breath smells like Frito’s, but decided to take the more socially responsible road instead. And survivors like McCoy are sure glad she did. “Thank God people still care.”
Experts are now wondering if similar campaigns could be used for other forms of cancer. Efforts are currently underway to raise awareness for testicular and prostate cancer. With the summer months approaching, it won’t be hard: organizers are proposing a related plan where men report the color of their bathing suits to raise awareness of these deadly forms of cancer. The “trunks for junk” campaign shall be launched within a few weeks.
Jenna Ferguson is excited. “It just feels good to finally be giving something back. Oooh; and I just moved up a rank in farmville!”
Well said, Jenna; well said.